Sunday 15 September 2024

181 - 190 Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - Jack Lookman - Empowerment and Inspiration - empowering, inspiring generations

 181. Is there any pain in successful marriages? 


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So for those who marry each other for fifty years, sixty years, seventy years, was it a perfect marriage? Did they go through difficulties or challenges? Did they go through happy days and sad days? Was it always a smooth sail? Or was it a straight line graph or a perfect union? Was there any pain at all? Or was it always happy and happy ever after? What are your thoughts? 


182. What are your thoughts on polygamy or polygyny?

 

Are you looking at it from a religious perspective? If so, from what religion's perspective? Or do you look at it from a secular perspective? What are your thoughts? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Or is it something you can live with?  


183. On premarital sex and extramarital sex:



Are there any consequences for premarital sex? If you're a man and you get your girlfriend pregnant, does that guarantee that you're going to marry the girlfriend? Could there be conflict somewhere along the line? Can it be that your family will not accept the union? When you have premarital sex, can it be just for the fun? Are there consequences? For the woman, is it supposed to be a way of making sure the guy marries you? Even if he marries you, does it guarantee that you'll have a child? I had a case of a friend whose wife got pregnant before the marriage to be sure of her fertility. But each time she got pregnant, she always had miscarriages till she was able to give birth. Is premarital sex beneficial? Is it good or bad? Does it cause pain? Is it something you need to give a good thought? Are there consequences? If you, as a woman, have premarital sex, is there a stigma against such thing? Does it guarantee that the man will marry you or that you will even have a child? Does it mean that people will look at you as a piece of dirt because they won't show you respect? And in terms of extramarital sex, some people have mistresses whom they spend money on and have sex. Does it augur well for the society? Does it add value to the society or does it reduce the value of the society? What are your thoughts? 


184. Are there consequences for broken homes?


 

If you get married and your marriage fails for whatever reason, are there consequences?

Can this impact society negatively? Can this impact the spouse's consent? Can it impact the in-laws and family and friends?

Can it impact the children who are going to go through the trauma? Are there any consequences for broken homes?

Can this be prevented from the onset by ensuring you cross the T's and dot the I's to make sure you are compatible, to make sure you are on the same page? Is it important? Is it important to have had marriage counselling, etc, and to make sure that the family, the extended family is in support of your union? Are there positive or negative consequences of broken homes? What are your thoughts?


185. Is it important to choose the right spouse?

 

One that is compatible with you spiritually, sexually, financially, culturally etc.? Is it important in choosing a spouse or can there be implications later in the course of the marriage? If you get it right, hopefully you will live a positive and fulfilled life.

But if you get it wrong, you will go through a lot of pain, then you might go through a lot of traumas and this might actually impact the children negatively. 


186. Now let's talk about wealth and marriage. 


Does the fact that you are wealthy mean you will have a successful marriage? Does the fact that you got married to a rich man mean you will have a happy and successful marriage? Do people who are wealthy have divorces or separation? Those who are wealthy, are their marriages fulfilled? Are they the best of marriages? When you marry a wealthy person, is it because of that person's personality? Or is it just because of the money? Is the love entrenched or is it superficial? What are your thoughts? 


187. Marital lessons:



Are there lessons to be learnt from marriage or marriage institution? Are you able to share your experience? Would you like to talk about it? Whether it's positive, negative or otherwise? There are different online and offline platforms where these could be shared. Research accordingly, and act as necessary.


188. Socialising and Networking:



Is it important to socialise and network before, during, and after marriage? Assuming you're looking for a spouse, do you go to networking events or social events where you are likely to meet the right person? Do you go to parties? Do you go to religious organisations? Do you go to professional activities, professional networks? Do you go to any other relevant networking platform where you are likely to get the type of person you want? Do you involve yourself in social activities? Maybe you can get a spouse from there? If you are the religious type, do you go to religious activities whereby you have people of the opposite sex with hopes to find one that looks good for you? What are your thoughts? 


189. What do you consider to be the benefits of marriage?



 Are you doing it to please your Creator? Are you doing it to procreate and recreate, to have children? Are you doing to share your love? Are you doing it to add value to society by bringing up good children? Are you doing it to increase the number of people in your religious fold? Are you doing it to ethically satisfy your sexual desires? Is that part of the benefits of marriage? Are you doing it to have a partner, a life partner, and to have company? What do you think are the benefits of marriage? Please share your thoughts.


190. Love potions



Sometimes, I hear of some people who rely on love potions where they either put something in your meal or drink or use it over you somewhere or the other, and then that way you become blinded to their love. Are you one of them—those who use it? Is it something you believe in? And if you believe in it, is this something that yields positive outcomes in the short term or in the long term? Do they really work? What are your thoughts?



Thank you very much for your time. 


This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)


Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).



Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n


Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and  Rita Nnamani 


Facebook group: Menteero


Youtube channel: Jack Lookman  


Facebook Community: Jack Lookman 



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Friday 13 September 2024

171 - 180 Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - Jack Lookman - empowering and inspiring generations - Empowerment, Inspiration

 171. Do you have a Plan B for Sickness? 


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You may be very healthy now, but sickness could strike unexpectedly. It could be via a bug; it could be a pandemic. It could be cancer. It could be due to an accident. It could be a communicable disease. This could be for you, your spouse or your children. It could even be for parents or relatives. How will you manage this? Will you keep contingency funds? Will you have insurance? Will you wish away the reality? Would you prevent such an occurrence? Will you take each day at a time? Will you seek help from others? Will you crowdfund? Will you sell your properties? Will you pray? Will you rather not think of such and rebuke it by the powers that be? 


172. Do you have a Plan B for Divorce? 



If your spouse becomes adulterous, if your marriage isn't working, if your spouse becomes unbecoming, if there are financial pressures, if you're incompatible—whatever be the reason, if your partner decides to divorce you, do you have contingency plans? In your subconscious or in writing? Will you manage it when it becomes an eventuality or will you give some thoughts to it? Will you rather not think of it—after all, you're not in a marriage just for it to fail. Will you have conflict management plans involving religious clerics, elders and trusted others? Will you put systems and structures in place just to ensure it doesn't happen? Will you invest in marriage counsellors just to ensure you get it right? Will you spend time, effort and resources in ensuring that you choose the right partner, or if it eventually happens, will you resign to fate, taking consolation that you tried your best? Do you research best practices and mitigate the risk? Do you invest in mentors to guide you along the way? 


173. Monday or Saturday Wedding? 



Will you have your wedding on a Monday morning or will it be on the usual and traditional Saturday? Will you love to make it simple and affordable? Or will you like to spend beyond your means? Will you like to take a loan to finance your wedding in order to show off and make a statement and eventually take another loan if there has to be a divorce? Will you cut your coat according to your size and do what you can afford? Does an expensive wedding guarantee a happy or successful marriage? Does show off last for long? Are there benefits or challenges in small or big weddings? Is either or both of such weddings blessed? Give some thoughts to the above. Pray for guidance. Consult and make your decision as necessary. And of course, consult experienced others—or research best practices. 


174. Loss of Income



Do you give some thoughts to possible loss of income? This can be due to problems at the workplace, due to government legislation, sickness, unfair dismissal, company going bankrupt, etc.

If you are the sole breadwinner in the family, how will you mitigate such challenge? Will you take preventative measures? Will you have your plans B and C? Will you have multiple income streams? Will you have investments? Will you have insurance? Will you empower your spouse to have an income? Will you save for the rainy day? Will you seek advice? Will you research best practices? Will you deal with the challenge only if or when it happens? Or will you wish it away and take absolutely no action? 



175. Managing Teenagers 



Teenagers are sometimes difficult as they go through developmental stages. Some of them become rebellious. Some question the status quo. Some have regular conflicts with their siblings and maybe with their parents. Some become unruly, wanting to have their say and way. Some no longer want to partake in domestic or other chores. Some question everything and anything, asking what and why. Some of their questions may be genuine while others may be just because they are rebellious. They, however, live under a roof. You feed them, clothe them and maintain them. You may be responsible for what they turn out to be or not to be. 


176. Mind Your Company



Be mindful of the company you keep. Do you take onboard every friend and acquittance? Either at networking events, social events, or on social media? Do you remember the popular phrase; 'show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are?' 

The truth is that your friends and acquaintances could have an impact on you and your family. You may end up acting like they do—talking like they talk and thinking like they do. You need to ask yourself some questions: Will their association benefit myself and family in the short and long term? Will their association add value? Will I be proud to associate with them? Do their ways and values resonate with mine? Could my family get added value from such association? Much as these thoughts apply to you, and by extension, to the members of your household or your family. If there's no positive resonance, you may consider terminating or reducing your association with such company. Even though, this may seem unpleasant, remember that nothing good comes easy. And that it will benefit yourself and your family in the short and long term. Your choice of company could make or mar you. 


177.  Recap of Marital Lessons 


(on Polygamy, Sex, Wealth and Conflict Management)


178. Are there benefits in polygamy or is it polygyny? 



As mentioned earlier, polygamy means one man to many wives in marriage. Are there any benefits? Is it forbidden? Is it recommended? Are there pros and cons? What are the pros and cons? Is that the way forward? Can it prevent extramarital activities? Is it more about a man having more wives or every woman having a husband? Are there benefits in extramarital affairs? Does it benefit society? Does it benefit the concerned individuals? Is it addressing a problem in the wrong way? What are your thoughts?

Is it okay to marry a spouse outside your culture, faith or background? Are there benefits? Challenges? Are there pros or cons? Is it just about a matter of love or about compatibility? 

Are there any alternative to marriage? Is it having a girlfriend? Is it having a partner? Is it just cohabiting? Or is it not even having a spouse at all and doing it all alone? What's the alternative to marriage? What are your thoughts? 

Is marital life a bed of roses? Once you get married, is that the end of your problems? Does marriage like every other things in life come with its positives and negatives? If you get married, does it improve your quality of life? Does it reduce your quality of life? If you marry the right partner, can it make your life better? And if you marry the wrong partner, can it make your life worse? Now, even if you marry the right partner, does that mean that you will live happily ever after without any challenges or difficulties? What are your thoughts? 


179. Is there a place for spirituality in marriage?



Is marriage just about love and eating, having children, going out to functions together, having sex, etc.? What about spirituality? Is there a place for spirituality in marriage? Do you have a common spiritual platform? Do you go to the religious places together? Do you pray together? Do you leverage each other's spirituality? Where does spirituality stand in your marriage? Or is there no place at all for spirituality in your marriage?



180. What are the ingredients of a successful marriage?

 

Is it love or sex? Is it money? Is it compassion? Is it understanding? Is it maturity? Is it about endurance, perseverance etc?



Thank you very much for your time. 


This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)


Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).



Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n


Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and  Rita Nnamani 


Facebook group: Menteero


Youtube channel: Jack Lookman  


Facebook Community: Jack Lookman 



jacksempowerment.com 

  • Courses by Jack Lookman Limited 
  • Becoming Organised
  • Mindset
  • Jack’s Mentoring 101 (18+)


jacklookmanlimited.com 

  • Jack Lookman Limited Websites
  • Jack Lookman On Social media 
  • Jack Lookman Paperbacks


Books by Jack Lookman Limited 


Jack Lookman Limited Websites


Jack Lookman’s Social Media 


Jack’s Mentoring 101  - 18+ only


Business Collaboration With Jack Lookman - 18+ only


https://www.jacksempowerment.com 


https://www.jacklookmanlimited.com 


Book A Chat With Jack Lookman 





We do Affiliate Marketing and make commissions for every sale, at no additional cost to you.


The change that we aim is generational.


Kindly share this content if it’s beneficial.


At Jack Lookman Limited: Our mission is to Empower and Inspire Generations by leveraging the Internet.