91. Parenting Styles
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- How were you brought up as a child?
- Were your parents strict?
- Were they soft?
- Were they disciplinarian?
- Did they use positive psychology?
- Did they use the rod or did they spare it?
- Were they abusive or easy going?
- Did they use persuasive psychology?
- Did their parenting styles impact your personality?
- Was this positively or negatively?
- Will you employ the same approach or could you do better?
- Can you research best practice and use what works for you?
- Will you be a friend to your kids or will you be a control freak?
92. Sibling Conflict And Rivalry
It is a very frequent phenomenal amongst siblings. Some fight for dominance. Some are troublemakers. Some want to get the biggest share. Some want to get more attention than the others. It is common. As a parent, you need to learn to manage the conflict. Learn to be just and fair and consistent in your decision.
93. Relationships Between Children And Relatives
In an ideal situation, you want the children to be close to their relative—cousin, aunt, uncle etc But in reality, you have to be careful. Because not everyone who smiles with you is friendly. Some have hatred deeply rooted in their heart towards you even if you are generous to them. Some are envious and jealousy. This doesn't mean the children should not be close to their relatives. Just ensure you're cautious about their relationship.
94. Spirituality?
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In my native Nigeria, most people are either Muslims, Christians or Traditionalists. Spirituality is very important. Some unexplainable things have spiritual meaning. If you have to get good grades or a good job, you have to sacrifice. Also, spiritually, you need to invest time, effort and good behavior. Sometimes, you may have to fast, pray, and do good deeds even at the detriment of your comfort. So that when things are going wrong, it becomes a good rock to fall on. Also, you can pass on the lessons to your children. However, that is not a guarantee that they will succumb to your own way but it is safer showing them the importance of investing in their spiritual lives.
95. Illness
Child or spouse illness (ill health, sickness), disability or accident
We don’t pray for these, but the reality is that it is possibility and that it can happen to anyone. If you become a victim of this, how will you react? Will you take precautionary effects and prevent it from happening? If it happens, how will you deal with it? Will you abandon the child? Will you hand over the child to carers? Will you become a lifelong carer? Will you seek medical help? Will you give this some thought or will you banish it?
96. Upbringing
Rounded upbringing; there is more to bringing up a child than academic qualifications. The child needs to be well mannered, needs to have domestic skills, good morals, needs to be able to accommodate the views of others, needs to be resilient and needs to have interpersonal skills.
97. Mindset issues for children
As we bring up children physically, educationally and spiritually, we should inculcate the right mindset. We need to work on this proactively and it is not a one day job. It is continuous work in progress. You need to work on good values. You need to work on their attitudes to others. They need to have positive attitudes. They need to imbibe best practices. They need to be helpful, within reason. They need to be supportive. They should not be greedy or thieves, etc.
Jack Lookman’s books and videos on mindset, may be a good starting point. Search for Jack’s Life Lessons For Teenagers
They are available on:
- amazon.co.uk - Jack’s 50 Life Lessons For Teenagers - https://amzn.to/3W5gVEN
- Jack’s 50 Life Lessons For Teenagers - volume 2 - https://amzn.to/4bo8qJa
- Jack’s 50 Life Lessons For Teenagers - volume 3 - https://amzn.to/46ssSI9
- Facebook group: Jack’s Life Lessons For Teenagers
- Youtube channel: Jack’s Life Lessons For Teenagers
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jacksteens?_t=8oWHZh6Hpq5&_r=1
- blog - https://www.jacksempowerment.com
- blog - https://www.lifelessonsforteenagers.com/
- blog - https://www.jacklookmanlimited.com
- What are your thoughts? What is your mindset?
He touches different mindset issues in different relatable situations, as well as in simple English. Remember, the right mindset builds individual and collective success.
98. Marriage And Variants
99. Monogamy
This is the union of one man and his wife. In most cases, they remain together until death. This is common in western and related countries. It’s also common in the Christian faith.
100. Polygamy
Polygamy is the act of marrying multiple spouses, It is made up of polygyny, where one husband has multiple wives and polyandry— where one wife has multiple husbands. There may be other variants of polygamy. It’s important to be on the same page with your spouse and share your intentions. If it is your intention to ply that route, make it known from the onset, otherwise, such surprises can cause conflict and pain. Some countries, religions, cultures and societies permit polygamy hence, this may be a subtle acceptance to your spouse, unless issues are raised. Will you encourage it? Will you abhor it? Does it have benefits? Or should it be avoided?
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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