Thursday, 29 August 2024

91 - 100 Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - Jack Lookman - empowering and inspiring generations - Empowerment and Inspiration

 91. Parenting Styles


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  • How were you brought up as a child?
  • Were your parents strict?
  • Were they soft?
  • Were they disciplinarian?
  • Did they use positive psychology?
  • Did they use the rod or did they spare it?
  • Were they abusive or easy going?
  • Did they use persuasive psychology?
  • Did their parenting styles impact your personality?
  • Was this positively or negatively?
  • Will you employ the same approach or could you do better?
  • Can you research best practice and use what works for you?
  • Will you be a friend to your kids or will you be a control freak?


92. Sibling Conflict And Rivalry



It is a very frequent phenomenal amongst siblings. Some fight for dominance. Some are troublemakers. Some want to get the biggest share. Some want to get more attention than the others. It is common. As a parent, you need to learn to manage the conflict. Learn to be just and fair and consistent in your decision.


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93. Relationships Between Children And Relatives



In an ideal situation, you want the children to be close to their relative—cousin, aunt, uncle etc But in reality, you have to be careful. Because not everyone who smiles with you is friendly. Some have hatred deeply rooted in their heart towards you even if you are generous to them. Some are envious and jealousy. This doesn't mean the children should not be close to their relatives. Just ensure you're cautious about their relationship. 


94. Spirituality?


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In my native Nigeria, most people are either Muslims, Christians or Traditionalists. Spirituality is very important. Some unexplainable things have spiritual meaning. If you have to get good grades or a good job, you have to sacrifice. Also, spiritually, you need to invest time, effort and good behavior. Sometimes, you may have to fast, pray, and do good deeds even at the detriment of your comfort. So that when things are going wrong, it becomes a good rock to fall on. Also, you can pass on the lessons to your children. However, that is not a guarantee that they will succumb to your own way but it is safer showing them the importance of investing in their spiritual lives. 


95. Illness



Child or spouse illness (ill health, sickness), disability or accident

We don’t pray for these, but the reality is that it is possibility and that it can happen to anyone. If you become a victim of this, how will you react? Will you take precautionary effects and prevent it from happening? If it happens, how will you deal with it? Will you abandon the child? Will you hand over the child to carers? Will you become a lifelong carer? Will you seek medical help? Will you give this some thought or will you banish it? 


96. Upbringing




Rounded upbringing; there is more to bringing up a child than academic qualifications. The child needs to be well mannered, needs to have domestic skills, good morals, needs to be able to accommodate the views of others, needs to be resilient and needs to have interpersonal skills. 


97. Mindset issues for children



As we bring up children physically, educationally and spiritually, we should inculcate the right mindset. We need to work on this proactively and it is not a one day job. It is continuous work in progress. You need to work on good values. You need to work on their attitudes to others. They need to have positive attitudes. They need to imbibe best practices. They need to be helpful, within reason. They need to be supportive. They should not be greedy or thieves, etc.

Jack Lookman’s books and videos on mindset, may be a good starting point. Search for Jack’s Life Lessons For Teenagers 

 They are available on:


He touches different mindset issues in different relatable situations, as well as in simple English.  Remember, the right mindset builds individual and collective success.




98. Marriage And Variants 


99. Monogamy


This is the union of one man and his wife. In most cases, they remain together until death. This is common in western and related countries. It’s also common in the Christian faith.


100. Polygamy



Polygamy is the act of marrying multiple spouses, It is made up of polygyny, where one husband has multiple wives and polyandry— where one wife has multiple husbands. There may be other variants of polygamy. It’s important to be on the same page with your spouse and share your intentions. If it is your intention to ply that route, make it known from the onset, otherwise, such surprises can cause conflict and pain. Some countries, religions, cultures and societies permit polygamy hence, this may be a subtle acceptance to your spouse, unless issues are raised. Will you encourage it? Will you abhor it? Does it have benefits? Or should it be avoided? 



Thank you very much for your time. 


This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)


Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).



Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n


Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and  Rita Nnamani 


Facebook group: Menteero


Youtube channel: Jack Lookman  


Facebook Community: Jack Lookman 



jacksempowerment.com 

  • Courses by Jack Lookman Limited 
  • Becoming Organised
  • Mindset
  • Jack’s Mentoring 101 (18+)


jacklookmanlimited.com 

  • Jack Lookman Limited Websites
  • Jack Lookman On Social media 
  • Jack Lookman Paperbacks


Books by Jack Lookman Limited 


Jack Lookman Limited Websites


Jack Lookman’s Social Media 


Jack’s Mentoring 101  - 18+ only


Business Collaboration With Jack Lookman - 18+ only


https://www.jacksempowerment.com 


https://www.jacklookmanlimited.com 


Book A Chat With Jack Lookman 





We do Affiliate Marketing and make commissions for every sale, at no additional cost to you.


The change that we aim is generational.


Kindly share this content if it’s beneficial.


At Jack Lookman Limited: Our mission is to Empower and Inspire Generations by leveraging the Internet. 



Wednesday, 28 August 2024

81 - 90 Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - Jack Lookman - empowering and inspiring generations - Empowerment and Inspiration

 81. Domestic affairs


Jack’s Marriage Project


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Are you a domesticated spouse? Do you take part in the domestic work in the  house? or do you leave it to your wife always? You should give respect to your wife if she is the only one doing it because it is a lot of hard work. Complement her because it's not always an easy job. You can give her helping hands over the weekend. But once in while, take part in domestic work to add value to your union and even make your children respect you and learn from you. 


82. Personal hygiene


Mouth care, polished shoe, tidy house. These are important for your well-being and those around you. Personal hygiene of both spouses is of great importance. If not taken care of, it could be a turn-of. It can affect the relationship between the man and his wife, and cause conflict and embarrassment. It could also cause health challenges, sexually transmitted diseases, communicable diseases, etc.


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83. Looks and External Attraction 



You need to be well groomed. Because you never know where opportunity will meet you. You may lose an opportunity and be looked down on by people if you are dress roughly. It doesn't mean you should be overdressed. But your hair, mustache, and body should be taken care of. As a lady, be moderate. Avoid attracting too much attention when you dress to expose your body. Just be modest in your dress sense.  


84. Extra Marital Affairs





Do you or your spouse partake in extra marital affairs? Are there underlying reasons? Is your spouse no longer attractive to you? Are you selling your body to sustain yourself? Is your libido much more than that of your spouse? Is it an inherent problem with you? Do you fornicate and commit adultery? Are you being blackmailed? Does your spouse deny you of sex? Do you indulge in pornography? Will you seek help? Are you aware of consequences? Or do you readily justify your doings? 






85. Domestic Violence And Abuse





Do you partake in domestic violence? Are you a victim of it? Does it come in different forms? Physical, psychological, verbal, spiritual? Do you do anything about it? Are you afraid of possible consequences? Do you require help? Do you search for help? Could it destroy you? As well as your family? Are there better alternatives, than living with it? Is there a history, which currently manifests itself? Could you confide in a friend? Or a suitable other? Could you seek a divorce? Or something better? Could you work with your spouse, for the betterment of all? Could you involve the police? And the legal system? Could it be a case of trouble? Frying pan to fire? Or are you better off just praying? For a solution to your troubles.




86. Parenting style



Different people have different parenting styles. Some believe in using the rod to beat the children. Some, in shouting at or even cursing them. Some use positive psychology or even reward as a parenting style. You should understand that in some countries, if you are too hard on your children in your parenting style, you may get into trouble. So, you need to draw the right balance. You may employ persuasive psychology. Communicate with them why you want them to do what you want and let them express their opinion. They may not get it the first time. Communication and manner of presentation is very important. 


87. Educational choices for children



Growing up, it was part of the norm to be either an Engineer, a Doctor or a Lawyer. Though I qualified as an engineer, I do not practice engineering. In my opinion, I don't believe in parents forcing their kids to study a course they have no flair for. You may guide the child, but at the end of the day, look for the child's area of strength and see if that area can serve as a source of income. Don't force it because they may become unfulfilled. Doing what they love to do makes them fulfilled and more successful. Encourage them and seek guidance on how to go about their educational choices. Guide them. Do not force them. 


88. Accommodation 




You should do your due diligence when seeking accommodation. If you are okay living in a flat, or you plan to build your house. Ensure it is close to where your conveniences are. It shouldn't be too far from your office and even the schools of your children. If otherwise, you spend a lot of energy and money on transportation alone. This leaves you with being stressed and burnt out. The environment should be an enabling one for the children to learn. Ensure it is affordable. You could negotiate with a land owner to actually compare your price with what other tenants are paying so you don't get cheated. While doing that, you may begin to save money either to build your house or buy one. 


89. Digital addiction by children


As a matter of fact, it is not only children that have digital addiction. These days, you find adults glued to their phones with little quality time for their families.  Digital devices can serve a great advantage. However, it reduces the quality of time and communication with your family. The children could even go astray when they are manipulated or extorted by hoodlums online. It is necessary to draw the right balance. You should get monitoring application to monitor what your children watch online so they don't get into trouble. You may, at certain period, shut down the media for them maybe for few hours or days. Another thing about digital addiction is that it does not allow you or your children to think much. These days, the phone has made it easy and the children are over reliant on the digital device. No time to think or memorise where necessary because there is a digital device to do that for them. 


90. Complementary education for children



There's a need for complementary education for the children. This could include culinary skills, leadership skills, spirituality, culture, etc. The education system may not teach your children everything they need to become successful. Hence, your duty to get them complementary skills. 



Thank you very much for your time. 


This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)


Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).



Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n


Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and  Rita Nnamani 


Facebook group: Menteero


Youtube channel: Jack Lookman  


Facebook Community: Jack Lookman 



jacksempowerment.com 

  • Courses by Jack Lookman Limited 
  • Becoming Organised
  • Mindset
  • Jack’s Mentoring 101 (18+)


jacklookmanlimited.com 

  • Jack Lookman Limited Websites
  • Jack Lookman On Social media 
  • Jack Lookman Paperbacks


Books by Jack Lookman Limited 


Jack Lookman Limited Websites


Jack Lookman’s Social Media 


Jack’s Mentoring 101  - 18+ only


Business Collaboration With Jack Lookman - 18+ only


https://www.jacksempowerment.com 


https://www.jacklookmanlimited.com 


Book A Chat With Jack Lookman 





We do Affiliate Marketing and make commissions for every sale, at no additional cost to you.


The change that we aim is generational.


Kindly share this content if it’s beneficial.


At Jack Lookman Limited: Our mission is to Empower and Inspire Generations by leveraging the Internet.